The students who join college for the fun are called lazy bluffers. They just wander in college. They have no particular aim in life. We should let them face the cruel world so that they may realize their value.
There are people who got bad grades but grew up to be successful adults, says Mark Katz. What’s their secret—and how can schools help?
BY MARK KATZ | MAY 24, 2016
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Many of us know kids who seemed headed for disaster when they were young and in school. Maybe they flunked out of classes, or they did drugs, or they were depressed loners. But then something happened later and they blossomed into healthy, happy adults who contributed to society in important ways.
How did they accomplish this? Researchers who study risk, resilience, and recovery throughout the lifespan have identified several ways that children move through adversity and find their way to thriving. Among the most important is the ability to see life’s setbacks and difficulties in a new light—to reframe them, if you will.
My experience in working with adults overcoming childhood traumas and setbacks has shown me—and research has confirmed—that the meaning we attach to adversity can determine whether we come to see ourselves as resilient and courageous, or helpless and hopeless.
But it’s not just what people tell themselves; it’s the meaning others attach to our adversities that can influence how we experience them, too. This is especially true for children who, as a result of their invisible neurodevelopmental, stress-related, or other challenges, learn and behave in paradoxically uneven ways. Too often, we can misinterpret the cause of this, which can lead to misunderstanding—and to well-intentioned but ineffective interventions.
In my new book, Children Who Fail at School But Succeed at Life, I highlight some of the misperceptions that can put these kids at further risk for failing at school. For example, many of us believe that those who do well in school are smart, while those who struggle in school are not. Many of us also equate resilience with success, ignoring specific learning challenges and important environmental influences. The truth is, some of smartest and most resilient people we will ever meet may struggle significantly just to get through a typical day, school-age children included.
When we succumb to these and other erroneous perceptions, we run the risk of prolonging school difficulties and preventing children from harnessing the resources they’ll need to succeed. I’ve worked a lot with adults who failed in school when they were younger, but ended up succeeding later in life—and they have taught me a lot about what it takes to get past these perceptions.
Here are nine ways educators can support kids so that fewer will succumb to problems these now-successful adults did decades ago. Some of these remedies focus on how to manage environmental risks, while others focus on managing neurodevelopmental risks; but it’s often a combination of these approaches that will be the most effective, especially in very risky, very averse situations.